Moods are Symptoms. Look Under the Surface & CONNECT With the Other Person to SOLVE or PREVENT an Outburst Problem.
December 19, 2014
Moods are symptoms. Don’t just react. Look under the surface and connect with the other person to solve or even prevent an outburst, tantrum, or other negative behavior.
I talked about this in a previous post, “Pain Is the Root Of Anger, and Why You Should Care” but today I’d like to amplify that by sharing the following post by Rebecca Thompson, M.S., MFT.
Her blog is about parenting, and this post of hers in particular reminded me of when my son was a toddler and he would routinely become annoying, fussy, and troublesome when he was tired. It was an irritating distraction for work-at-home parents. Of course the instantaneous reactionary impulse was to be short with him, tell him to stop being that way, even yell at him. But I wanted to love and help him, not hurt him. I found that all I had to do when he started acting badly, was realize that he had been awake for hours, and then pick him up and rock him on my shoulder. He felt the loving connection and quickly fell asleep. When he awoke, he was always able to behave much better.
For older kids too big to hold or too old for naps, a hug can be just as refreshing–like rebooting a computer which has clogged up and can’t function right.
For even older people or those you aren’t so personal with, look for a way to give a verbal hug. A kind word, compliment, or some acknowledgement that you are sympathetic.
Meeting and treating on a personal root level works with a person of any age—infant, toddler, teen, adult, and elderly. It can even work with animals.
Read Rebecca’s post: An Alternative View of Tantrums and Emotional Upsets
Or visit her website by clicking this image:
ATTENTION ANYONE WHO:
has kids, knows kids, works with kids, or has a social media audience who has (or are) kids.
Rifll Publishing, Inc. is looking to tell all the kids ages 5 to 13 about a fun contest they can win.
You DON’T have to think your kid is the world’s next great author. And your kids DON’T have to love writing to enter. Rifll’s rules are simple; check them out, help a kid submit something, and the fun will follow!
Several First Place winners will be offered contracts to have their entries published in a paperback anthology of writings by kids and for kids.
All other entries will receive Second Place, and receive the option of being posted on a special page of Rifll Publishing’s website.
When’s the last time you knew of a child who had the pleasure of showing friends and family something he or she wrote, displayed on the internet; or had the pleasure of holding in their hands a book full of stories written by folks their own age?
Now you can help make that possible, for FREE.
Kids CAN write things that are fun and worth reading, and this challenge can ENCOURAGE them to love writing and reading.
Help your kids to enter.
Also please POST THIS to your blog, FaceBook, Twitter, email it out; tell your coworkers, your kids’ friends, teachers, and youth groups.
The more entries, the more fun!
See the simple details and answers to your questions on Rifll’s website: http://www.rifll.com/challenge.htm
February 24, 2012
When “all options are on the table,” it is too easy to settle for the wrong option, thinking it’s the only viable or fast enough way.
When the wrong options are removed from the choices you make available to yourself, and the remaining selection isn’t appealing, you are forced to try to discover new options and good ways to enact the best option found.
Ozma of Oz would never have discovered a way to turn the evil spirits into agreeable spirits, if she had accepted the much-offered option of defensive fighting. Because she ruled out that response as not being an option, then she and her friends had time to notice not only a better solution, but one which might actually succeed; and then having chosen a good option, they were committed enough to give a needed nudge in the right place to make it work.
Think you can justify yourself in saying “all options are on the table” in order to surprise your enemies with your selected option? Never mind. Either you are willing to do anything to meet your goals, or else you are lying; and if you aren’t the type to choose wrong, then your opponent will know what is not really “on your table” anyway. You’ll have to do better than that to be surprising.
Don’t be lazy. Cast away wrong options for meeting your goals; then if you can’t find anything left, reconsider your goals and be patiently watchful for new options to arise.