Why were (or are) aprons seen as negative symbols?

Women once lived in aprons on farms, where they worked morning to night—cooking, washing, gardening, making soap, butter, and everything else the family needed. Aprons were easier to wash and cheaper to replace than whole dresses. Easy to remove a messy apron upon the surprise arrival of a visitor.

It’s understandable that women wanting freedom from their ancestor’s place in the kitchen might shun the apron.

It’s also understandable that men did not want to be caught in an apron at home, in order to avoid appearing either effeminate or too spineless to make their wives do the “woman’s work.”

Somewhat hypocritically, for ages men have had no problem wearing an apron as a chef, dishwasher, butcher, cheese maker or baker in the village or town. So it wasn’t the cooking or cleaning that was unmanly, it was the working in the home rather than outside of it. Even today, some men would be fine wearing an apron for barbequing at a backyard party, but not wearing an apron in the kitchen on the other side of the house wall. . . . But that’s a side point.


So how can an apron be accepted by women as a tool, and seen as a positive symbol?

The apron is a protector of our clothing. We don’t have to be stuck in stained and depressing casual wear. We can dress up or dress professionally, then don the apron as we enter the kitchen and remove it when we leave for the outside world—or for the home office.

Dressing well and using an apron part of the day can:

  1. Help us remember not to let the household chores pull us down or completely fill our days.
  2. Boost our sense of self by reminding us that we are more than household workers.
  3. Remind us that we choose to serve both the world at large, and our families at home.


Personal experience:

When my son was a baby, an apron would not protect my sleeves or my back from his drool, slobbery hands, and unexpected vomit. It was more practical to accept that I should stay in cheap clothes that would all be stained. What difference would it make if the boiling spaghetti sauce splattered my sweatshirt, when my son had already stained it? An apron would have been a pointless bother.

But after years of being a stay-at-home mom, I am ready to move into broader work—even broader and more outgoing work than what I can do in my spare time from a home office. My son is a young man, not a messy tot. It’s time for new things.

While I refuse to remove the benefits of home-cooking from my family, I must squeeze housework into a smaller section of my day. Part of the process is planning and disciplining myself, but part of it is also pulling my mind out of the old rut. I have to transform my thinking from being a mom who wishes for more, to being a professional with a family. How I see myself–literally see myself in the mirror–affects my thinking patterns.

So upgrading my clothes is a necessary step, not only for my self-image, but also in order to be prepared for professional meetings. However, buying aprons was my first step, to be able to keep those new clothes in good condition while caring for my family.

Those aprons are exciting symbols of a transforming life. Symbols of being capable and active in the home and outside the home.

 

 

© NPM

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Holiday gatherings, and the month of dread which comes beforehand, are some of the most frustrating and depressing times for many people. These are supposed to be celebrations and reunions, but one of the biggest contributing factors which makes these events problems, is that so many people are measuring themselves and others with the wrong measuring sticks.

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Tradition is to compare and judge others’ lives against one’s own life, based primarily and superficially on physical accomplishments, because these are the easiest things to put into words and are most similar across humanity in western cultural terms.

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Examples: awards and educational degrees earned; prestige or money from jobs and number of promotions; home size, toys, and cars; money spent on gifts; kids and their growth, involvements or accomplishments; fun activities and places visited; number or class of friends; club memberships; books read or written; childhood dreams realized; etc.

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But you can HAPPILY look like a failure by all of those standards, IF you have gained (or know you are gaining) understanding of humanity and of God, your reason for existing, and what will outlast the fleeting years at hand. For if understanding a good chunk of those things is what you pour your time and resources into, you can feel confident in your abilities to be an honest benefit to fellow humans and to the entire universe.

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Communicating a meaningful measurement of your life is often hard, because there’s so much value in the fleeting moments which are like little pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, and just as hard to remember or explain their context.

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Examples: the times you made someone smile, were kind to a clerk, gave a hug, answered someone’s nagging question, realized the answer to your own questions, forgave someone, lovingly sacrificed your own desires for someone else’s good. The times God’s Spirit embodied you and shined through to lighten and enlighten the world with love.

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So gather with grace, confidence, compassion and love for everyone, wherever they measure up at the moment–or think they measure up–on any yardstick. Hope for meaningful progress.

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Happy holidays!

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© NPM

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While searching blogs tonight, I came accross this great story of a little girl whose fanciful tale was published along with some other children’s stories, and how excited she was to see her own words in a book, and to see what other kids had written…

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http://rachelsbooknook.wordpress.com/2012/06/13/write4fun-35/

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I know that post was some time ago, but NOW all English-speaking kids ages 5 to 13 have an opportunity for the same kind of exciting, positive experience.

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Enjoy reading the post in the above link, and then have YOUR kids enter Rifll Publishing’s FREE Kid’s Challenge/contest right now! (Or mark it on tomorrow’s schedule, if you are reading this while your kids sleep.)

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Get all your questions answered here:   http://www.rifll.com/challenge.htm

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Why do I have to write, mom?...What if it got published?...My writing, published?...Yup! Go to:  http://www.rifll.com/challenge.htm

Give your child the thrill of being published, plus challenge him or her to coming in First Place. Help your child enter now! http://www.rifll.com/challenge.htm ~Share the fun: invite friends & followers to participate.

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Here’s the best diet plan ever.

FUN Advantage 1:
You get to create your own version.

FUN Advantage 2:
You won’t get tired of it, and if you think you are tiring, you just adjust your version.

Advantage 3:
You don’t have to think about getting too fat or too thin, ever.

How is it win-win?
Because while you’re losing unhealthy weight, you’re accomplishing something else altogether that will make you feel great, AND your accomplishment will be positively meaningful to someone else (or even maybe many other people).

Okay, I’m sure you’re ready to hear some details. Nothing in life is simple, but this has a very simple start.

First, set your mind and heart on something bigger than personal physical gratification.

Second, every time you think of eating (outside of normal meal times), remind yourself that you don’t have time—you need every minute to work toward your important something. Remind yourself that you’ll feel better by accomplishing a step in that direction, than you would feel if you stopped to eat. Try it and see how you feel. Food will taste better when you’re truly hungry and have accomplished something valuable, and you won’t have any guilt from eating when you finally get around to it.

Your important something could be anything, like:
Helping your child to be smarter and happier,
Helping more people with your work or your charity,
Being healthy and energetic in order to______ (fill in the blank),
Learning or experiencing ______ (fill in the blank),
Earning more money so you can______ (fill in the blank),

Be specific, choosing something that would make your heart soar if you were succeeding—something that would make you feel like an important and positive contributor to the world.

You will pour so much energy into your “something important,” that excess weight will slip away. And when you need more energy to keep working, you’ll remember to take time for food. You’ll want to eat simpler, cheaper meals, so you can spend more time and money on your “something important”; and you’ll truly want healthy foods, because you’ll seriously want good health to accomplish your “something important.” But at milestones, you’ll relish a celebratory feast—without any guilt.

If you ever think you’re tiring of the whole thing, it’s not a matter of giving up on a diet–because your focus isn’t dieting; your focus is your “something important,” your goal. If that “something” is tiresome, adjust either your goal or your method of attempting to reach it.

When you reach one goal or complete one “something important,” you’ll feel so great that you’ll set new goals and keep going—lean and strong.

If you don’t believe me, look around. In general, overweight people are unhappy and reach for food to feel good fast. Forget about food, and reach for something meaningful to do. You’ll be glad you did, and so will the people you affect.

© NPM

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When “all options are on the table,” it is too easy to settle for the wrong option, thinking it’s the only viable or fast enough way.

When the wrong options are removed from the choices you make available to yourself, and the remaining selection isn’t appealing, you are forced to try to discover new options and good ways to enact the best option found.

Ozma of Oz would never have discovered a way to turn the evil spirits into agreeable spirits, if she had accepted the much-offered option of defensive fighting. Because she ruled out that response as not being an option, then she and her friends had time to notice not only a better solution, but one which might actually succeed; and then having chosen a good option, they were committed enough to give a needed nudge in the right place to make it work.

Think you can justify yourself in saying “all options are on the table” in order to surprise your enemies with your selected option? Never mind. Either you are willing to do anything to meet your goals, or else you are lying; and if you aren’t the type to choose wrong, then your opponent will know what is not really “on your table” anyway. You’ll have to do better than that to be surprising.

Don’t be lazy. Cast away wrong options for meeting your goals; then if you can’t find anything left, reconsider your goals and be patiently watchful for new options to arise.

© NPM

To see my books in print, please visit  www.Amazon.com  or www.BarnesAndNoble.com  OR visit my publisher’s website: www.rifll.com

 

God designed work and rest. Sometimes He set the intervals. Day and night. Summer and Winter. Six days of work and a Sabbath. Six years of cultivation and harvest, and the seventh year a Sabbath for the land (which some modern farmers have found so beneficial that they rotate their plots, always having one at rest). Sometimes God devised or allowed exceptions. There is no winter of rest around the Equator. Slaves, prisoners, and the persecuted were not always allowed a Sabbath of rest. Since Christ, we are freed from strict rules, as were made for the childhood of humanity; we are to understand, value, and aim for what the laws were supposed to accomplish, and we are saved even when we fall short.

For years I thought that at least some of the reasons for resting the seventh day, was for the Jews to gather for listening to God’s word (as they did not each have their own Bible), to exercise their trust in God to provide for them even if they did not work non-stop, to set the Jews apart from the rest of the world in an outward way, and to remind the Jews themselves (as well as the world) that God’s people were no longer slaves—that God was better to them than their old earthly masters.  I thought that if God was in my heart and thoughts every day, if I read His word frequently, and lived my life for His glory (sharing Him with others, directly or indirectly), that I didn’t have to follow the strict 6-1 schedule. I didn’t need to put one day aside for God, if every day was for God.

I still believe that. But however flexible God is, and our bodies are, there remains the rule of alternating work with rest. It’s part of the earthly human existence God put us in. It has reasons and value, which we should appreciate and respect.

Some people may be built to go all their lives on two-thirds as much sleep as other people, but each better get the rest he or she needs. When there are unusual circumstances or people who need our help, we may be able to go for weeks on a fraction of the sleep we usually need, but eventually we will stop functioning well and even collapse without enough rest. We can break down emotionally or physically—even spiritually if we allow the strain to lead us astray. Jesus didn’t take much rest during His ministry, but then He only had to go at it for about three years before He was done with His physical body.

I really extended myself all this Summer, for the sake of others directly, and for the sake of projects intended in the long run to be mostly for the sake of others.  I thought that God was my strength, and He was. I didn’t succumb or stray emotionally or spiritually under the strain, and my body lasted the summer. But then I had a month of physical trouble—a month of rest and refurbishing before I could work again. A Summer on, and month off. It’s like a week on and a day off, but on a different scale. I never would have been able to serve the people who desperately needed my love and help, if I’d stuck to observing Sabbaths for only rest and worship. But what I’ve learned is to have more respect for God’s design, and to look for when I should accept rest, rather than expecting to be “on” for the whole of my life. If I’d taken rest just a bit sooner, I could have prevented my physical crumbling. And on top of that, if I plan in regular rest, I’ll be stronger the next time I’m called upon to work a very long stretch.

I’ve learned to accept that “everything” will never be done, and I’ll make myself sick trying (giving me even less time to get “everything” done), so I’m better off taking time to rest rather than being made to take time being sick. The tricky part is knowing what doesn’t have to be done. I’ve learned to trust that God can help me get enough done, without doing all the time. I’ve long known that choices, balance, and respect were keys, but now experience has in one more way made them a reality in me. I’ve felt consequences of over-tiredness before, but sometimes we humans don’t “get it” the first time around.

I have to take care of the dearest tool God has given me to work with—my body. God knows there is only so many hours in each day, and days in our lives; so He knows what we can and can’t accomplish. We just have to not be too busy to hear His guidance on how to make the best of our time.

Someone who knows me may read this and think, “I knew she was trying to do too much; I told her to rest.” But it’s not a matter of how much I’m trying to accomplish, it’s a matter of how. Working fast when I work is fine, if I can think fast or feel guided. Working on a short night’s sleep is fine, when necessary. But what’s new for me is accepting that I can’t always cut sleep to make things work. There has to be another way, most of the time. There has to be something else to cut, or smarter ways to get things done in the given time. I have to look for those solutions, because I have to respect that God wants me to rest. Rest is a piece of God’s puzzle, and if I accept that piece as non-counterfeit, then I can search for what fits with it, until my life works. I can still amaze everyone with what all I accomplish, because God is my guide and my strength, and He is amazing.

Some people hand out advice which sounds rash to me, like ditching your spouse if he or she seems to be holding you back. I believe more often we need to look for more creative and gradual solutions. You may not feel you can commit to eight or nine hours of sleep, and let everything else work out around that. What you can do, is work toward the rest that you need, as quickly as possible, with trust that there is a way to have a balance appropriate and good for your particular body and spirit. If this post is another nudge to you, that you know you need more rest, aim for it, seriously. You can work better with a full battery, and be happier in the processes. Trust God that it is possible.

© 2011 NPM

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GOAL: Positive Balance

July 23, 2011

I want to share thoughts that aren’t yet part of my books.
I want to make people aware of what is in my books, and the value of them.
I want to help people with my writing.
I want to post rather freely, but not shallowly.
I want to earn so much that I can help many people—not only with my words, but also with the tool of money.
I want to be free to give, but not give everything for free.
I want to receive positive feedback, and valuable interaction.
I want to radiate goodness, and attract appreciation.
I want to point to the source of goodness.
I want to think personal, and think big.
I want to act on my beliefs, without crushing anyone else.
I want my blog to attract customers for my books & artwork, and friends for my spirit.

© NPM
Noname Porter-McShirley, Artist and Writer